IMMORTALIZED STILLICIDE or the frozen spit whose shape induced an epiphany like Kekulé’s.

As one of the most social orthodontists in Valencia, I can say with acuity that this voluble blog, whose dilating domain of discourse reflects the author's uncanny cultivation, will warm--like the vortex of a Brazilian whore against my pulsing member--the hearts of all who shall espy it. My vocation, lest you forget, is to perfect the human smile.

Thursday, December 29, 2005


At sundown this evening, I was greeted at my front door by Tom Kehlman, a lawyer specializing in defamation of character lawsuits who happens to represent you, the family of Daniel Munz. Your claims are unwarranted, and I categorically deny the allegations that Mr. Munz a) does not reside and has never resided with me, and b) is not the author of material composed under his name within this very weblog.

Mr. Munz dropped out of Yale University last semester and moved to the Hollywood Hills. In exchange for his writing services rendered, I paid him a sum totaling, after taxes, 2.01 million U.S. dollars. He has and continues to post original material under his own name. Your attempt to clear his name by implicating me in such an outlandish charade is both unethical and unwise. I look forward to going to battle with you. And vanquishing you.


Lester James
219 Beachwood Dr.
Los Angeles, CA 90068


Anonymous Pam B. said...

Hey, Lester. It's Pam from work. I just heared about the whole lawsuit thing, and i'm really really sorry. it'll turn out okay. keep up your good work.

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Rick Anderson said...

dude, i fucking got bombed with munz at your place last monday. No joke, I'll be a witness, L. I don't care if the family thinks immortalized will ruin his chances to become a senator...they're totally lying and persecuting you. But, dude, drop the whole $2 million payment thing. It's hilarious, but everyone knows it's bullshit. The truth is on your side, so stick to it, brotha.

4:05 PM  
Blogger Nostradamus said...

Lest-- I feel your pain. Libel laws are absolutely in your favor, I should say... Daniel Munz is a public figure after all, despite the now vanished status of 'Politics and War', and if Jerry Falwell can be said to have fucked his mother, I'll be damned if Munz can't be fat and into American politics, or marijuana, or anything else for that matter!

Best of luck, and may I recomend some Robert Browning for a bit of voice-modulation-training... As much as I love it, I'm still not quite buying the Juice voice. The Congdon sentences on the other hand.... Wow. Anyway, you are a genius, as you know, so fuck 'em, keep bloggin'.

9:14 PM  
Blogger Jason Congdon said...

Been told not to talk about feelings by mother since I was a toddler. Mother says crying's for fags, not men. Caring's for sluts, not men. Breaking down's for blacks, not men. Gee, this isn't gonna be easy. I don't know. Beautiful day today. No, aww, hell. Here she goes. I'm real sad for your, Lester. Real sad. For many years, I had two things going on in my life: my red baby girl and fresh mex. These last couple months in Hollywood, I felt part of something social for the first time in my life. Thank You. You've enabled me to blossom. Give me a call if you need anything. I'm staying over at my mom's for new years. I love you. I do.

11:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're a f***ing liar. You are deranged. You are one guy pretending to be other people. Daniel Munz NEVER had anything to do with this website. Our entire town is behind the Munz family and their lawsuit, you psycho.

11:16 PM  
Anonymous rick anderson said...

you're retarded, anonymous. Obviously Lester lays a little fiction onto his blog, but I've seen him and munz together in the same room. They know each other, and Munz did write posts for him.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Nostradamus said...

Just realized the recent Immortalized content is gone. This is a travesty.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Malagua Negro said...

There aren't really any 'libel laws' as such in the US. You're thinking of Britain, where they don't have a written constitution guaranteeing free speech. Fight this thing, Lester. We bloggers are on the side of free speech (even when it errs on the libelous side).

4:25 PM  

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