IMMORTALIZED STILLICIDE or the frozen spit whose shape induced an epiphany like Kekulé’s.

As one of the most social orthodontists in Valencia, I can say with acuity that this voluble blog, whose dilating domain of discourse reflects the author's uncanny cultivation, will warm--like the vortex of a Brazilian whore against my pulsing member--the hearts of all who shall espy it. My vocation, lest you forget, is to perfect the human smile.

Saturday, December 31, 2005



Dear Faithful Readers,

Here's the latest update on the lawsuit. It really kills me to break character like this, but, anyway, I've been served papers by the Munz family's attorney. They're asking for a sizeable sum of money (more than my dad makes in a year--it's honestly ridiculous how screwed I am), claiming I "published false posts with malice, exposing D.M. to ridicule, and potentially harming his future political career." I'm so stressed. It's like this surreal nightmare. Anyway, I've been ordered to remove all of the Munz content, and I was advised by my lawyer to get rid of the Congdon and O.J. stuff too. I'll try to keep posting content, but if I don't, it's probably because of this legal shit. Also, if anyone still has any Munz comments on their blogs, PLEASE remove them immediately. Thanks for your support, and I hope to get back to writing soon.

Yours,

Immortalized

Thursday, December 29, 2005



OFFICIAL IMMORTALIZED RESPONSE TO NOTICE FROM MUNZ FAMILY LAWYER:

At sundown this evening, I was greeted at my front door by Tom Kehlman, a lawyer specializing in defamation of character lawsuits who happens to represent you, the family of Daniel Munz. Your claims are unwarranted, and I categorically deny the allegations that Mr. Munz a) does not reside and has never resided with me, and b) is not the author of material composed under his name within this very weblog.

Mr. Munz dropped out of Yale University last semester and moved to the Hollywood Hills. In exchange for his writing services rendered, I paid him a sum totaling, after taxes, 2.01 million U.S. dollars. He has and continues to post original material under his own name. Your attempt to clear his name by implicating me in such an outlandish charade is both unethical and unwise. I look forward to going to battle with you. And vanquishing you.

Yours,

Lester James
219 Beachwood Dr.
Los Angeles, CA 90068

Thursday, December 08, 2005



Dear Duane M. Kinbote,

I am writing this post on a Blackberry in the back of a van outside a casa della puta in Tijuana. I am with Esperanza. You've heard of her, right? In case you forgot, she's the whore who fucked you over for six million. The girl who just happened to come into your life right after I just happened to "get dumped" by Jenny.

I've engineered everything immemorial and forevermore. You have never been in control. In case you were wondering, I took 5.9 million and gave Esperanza the rest. She spent it on cocaine and is currently lying in the passanger seat and dead. Before she died, she gave me your user name and password. The blog is mine again. I'm back. Back to stare dead-on into the eyes of a world that has called me nothing and proclaim my arrival. Hello, world. It's me, Lester.

Friday, December 02, 2005

I am not George W. Bush. I can admit mistakes. Like the time I misspelled a word in an interoffice memorandum. Or the time I decided to wed a 19 year old Latina cocaine addict who chain-smokes cock and gets pregnant to nullify pre-nups and takes half of a man's fortune. Funny, huh? Hee hee. Hee. SIlly stuff, huh? Right? SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! GODDAMNIT TO HELL you FUCKING SPICWHORE WASTE OF DNA SHITRAG. My life is awash in a sea of putrid small fat lazy brown beany cuntjuice.

Toodles,

Dr. K


P.S.

My tubes must have been untied during the "heart surgery" in New Haven. Lester must have been responsible.

Any and all New Haven citizens, tell me where Lester is, and I will reward you handsomely.